Who is your perfect match? Could it be the unlikely hero? A slightly dodgy magician? Perhaps you prefer a cheeky hench-cat, a very competent law enforcement officer or someone skilled in the art of clothes mainenance?
Whoever it is, we know the perfect time and place - Maldon Town Hall, last two weekends of January 2026. What are you waiting for? Make your choice from the carefully curated list of characters below!
Name: Aladdin
Age: Old enough to know better, young enough to still live with Mum.
Occupation: Executive Textile Purification Engineer (I wash pants).
My simple pleasures... Staring at the Palace walls, daydreaming about rubies, and avoiding real work at all costs.
One thing I’ll never do again... Go potholing. Seriously. If the date involves a cave, a tunnel, or a darkly lit basement, I’m out. I have crippling claustrophobia and a fear of echoes. Open-air dates only, please.
I’m looking for... Someone rich. Ideally a Princess. Or just anyone with a spare bag of diamonds. I’m not shallow, I’m just structurally insolvent.
Name: Abanaza
Looking for someone young, gullible, and preferably named Aladdin to help me fulfil my one true desire: obtaining a certain shiny magical lamp hidden deep in a cave!
I’m a powerful sorcerer (yes, REALLY), known for my magnificent spells, impeccable robes, and a deliciously evil cackle. MWAHAHAHAHA!
Likes:
🔮 World domination
🪄 Rare artefacts
🔥 Dramatic entrances
🚫 Not stepping into caves (long story…)
Dislikes:
😒 Heroes
😒 Happy endings
😒 Anyone touching the lamp before I get it
Swipe right if you’re ready to be part of my dastardly plan. Swipe left… and suffer my MAGICIAN’S WRATH! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!”